How do you learn to say no?

[looneylane]

I have a limited amount of things I do so as not to aggravate my symptoms and have been paying the price helping some folks with minor repairs that aren't part of my duties. Last night I was wiped right out but my phone rang one of the tenants had fallen and could not get back up even to their chair. I thought we were going to call the ambulance his symptoms showed he needed medical help but he refused so I had to lift him into his chair so he could regain his composure. When I went to leave I told them I would be calling the ambulance if his weakness continued. I have no strength whatsoever today but luckily no emergencies and I realized that I need to be willing to be humble enough to call the paramedics if I was that ill I can't imagine putting my family and friends through that much stress only to say no to the help they need me to accept....He is a wonderful person I am just venting because I used up all my spoons.

[foxgrove]

  I totally get you, brother.  I tell myself every day that I'm going to be strong and save my spoons for my lady... and so many days I get calls that someone needs help and bang we're off to the races.  I don't know what's wrong with me either... my heart rules my brain most days.  Last week we were coming home from my dad's 80th birthday party with my oldest boy when we saw a fellow in the parking lane trying to roll a manual wheelchair and I actually cut my son-in-law off in traffic to sweep around a corner and help him out.  I think it's just part of who we are, brother, spoons be darned.

Praying that your tenant's heart will stop being stubborn and realize that when we allow others to help us, we give them opportunity to feel good about what they did as well.  We all need each other.  You, my dear brother, are a beautiful soul and remain in my thoughts and prayers every day.  May this week rain spoons down on you like they're going out of style!

[looneylane]

I am heart broken on top of that as the family we helped after their vehicle was t boned by a semi lost their dad. A week after the accident he was admitted with covid and passed away. His kids are very young it seems like we go from tragedy to tragedy

[Barberian]

 

[foxgrove]

Oh dude!!!  That's heart breaking.

[Robby]

    
I am so sorry you are going through all of this, the physical pain, which is caused by the emotional pain that leads  us to do things that make you hurt worse. I wish I could tell you how to learn that, how I learned it. For me, that is just my personality. I do know people.  that learned how to be that person, and how to stand up for themself.

[Hollywood]

I know people that would step over you if you were lying in the street, just to get where they are going. Totally self absorbed. I thank

God and my Mother for making me the way I am.  Sometimes I wish i could be like my sister, because her life is not bothered by others because she lives in LALA land. She doesn't care about anyone but her self.

It's a strange thing also because it was My Mom , sister and me. We were both raised by my mother and we are so far apart in our personalities it's mind boggling.

As for having to help people and saying no, I understand how hard it is. For me now it is easy, because I don't know anyone, so there is no one to ask me for help 

Looney, I'm very sorry for what you have to deal with. If I may ask? Are you still working as a firefighter or paramedic? At least that's what I get from most of your post. But I can't keep up with everyone's post so I get confused on who's working or not.

From what I have read I know that you are a Good person and that's the most important thing.

[looneylane]

Hi Hollywood I am not working in any role for emergency services right now I handed off my last responsibilities in November of 2020. Probably being in a small town on a major highway route means being more likely to come across these scenes.

[looneylane]

Let's make things worse for my self why don't we? There have been several trees at our place that needed to be cut back due to high fire hazards so this morning I decided to trim a few back. It was going well but one of the tenants said they would move their vehicle so I could get the branches by their vehicle and being the bonehead I am I started working on them. I really only planned on doing a couple branches at a time. I don't remember much other than being up the ladder then the cold splash as the ladder and I tumbled to the ground in a big puddle of water so I smartly decided I was done and cleaned up and went inside. Back is out, neck is out bruises on my butt back and both elbows torn up. Want to know something even dumber? the owner gave me permission to hire professionals to do the trimming and here I thought I would save them some money...... yeah I am all kinds of dumb

[Hollywood]

Looney try not to beat up on yourself so much. You were just trying to do a good thing.  I myself stay far away from ladders of any kind.. Remember i used to walk around on half inch plywood , the ends of it so together you would have an inch of surface to lay the steel in-between, It's hard to explain.

I have a hard enough not falling down just walking, ladder days are long gone.

I hope you heal up fast and the pain isn't to much. Just imagine if you broke a bone I Can't speak for you, but after 20 years of walking in the clouds and never breaking anything (I fell a lot ). I shattered my elbow stepping over a dog gate on the floor, now my  right arm is held together by pins and screws.

I will pray for your speedy recovery.

[foxgrove]

I'm so glad that you didn't break your ankle...       ..Hey, I seem to remember someone falling off a ladder and doing that... just can't think who??? 

I so hear you, brother.  Just recuperate and know we've got your back.  It'll be ok.  Let that sweet lady of yours take care of you and any other problems can just freakin wait their turn! 

Dang, these ladder thingies are going to be the end of us.  It's time we learned how to fly so we can avoid these stupid things!

[ronr]

Sky hooks me thinks.

[looneylane]

I found sky hooks it has only taken me fifty years lol!!!  Our neighbor in the Yukon used to send us on errands to find sky hooks and sky blue pink paint lol if you ever get a chance look up Barney Roberge he has a few videos on a military history site he was a non stop ride of stories and skills!

[foxgrove]

...ok, I'm game.  What's a sky hook? (other than what Kareem used to drop)


Wait... are you saying you actually lived beside Barney Roberge???  The guy who ran the Whitehorse Inn for like, forever??  I was always told if you go to the Inn, make sure you order a Prusser's rum and the war stories would pour out like water from a spigot.  That is so very cool!!!

[looneylane]

We were friends with Barney as long as I can remember he was famous for push up challenges and non stop story telling. The Canadian military history page has several interviews they did of him they even got him to behave while doing them lol Sky hooks were a distraction technique he used on novice sailors and kids... The Pussers rum story is another big one as at one point it was considered illegal to import other than for personal use so couldn't be served in a licensed place but due to Barneys connections the import law was changed or so the story goes! LOL Not sure if I am on the mend or not I haven't been able to do anything since I fell off the ladder even walking is hard. Have any of you made a willow whistle? He taught us how to make one and even make the kind with the ball in the air chamber to make it warble!

[foxgrove]

Oh man... I remember making willow whistles.  Never got the ball ones to work but I was never quite as precise with my whistles as they demanded so they only worked perfectly once in a while.  lol  Good memories though.  Very cool about Barney.  Yeah, I heard the same rumor from my dad's brother Fred who lived there with his family since the 70s.  Apparently, he was quite a hit.