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Couple of readings

Started by Robby, June 18, 2022, 10:26:44 AM

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Robby

A few minutes before the church services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute." returned the old man, in an even tone.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONY for all eternity??" persisted Satan.
"Yep." was the calm reply.

"And you're still not afraid?!" asked Satan.
"Nope."
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me? "
The man calmly replied,

"Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

************

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further.
The needle hit 90, 100... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought, and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says,

"Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.
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I will put you in the trunk, and help people look for you, DON'T TEST ME.

ronr

Times are tough when "Happy Hour" is your nap.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

foxgrove

Where God leads, His hand always provides
...so keep Calm and code on....

Foxgrove

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