They did it again, I am trying not to freakout.

[Hollywood]

They came to our apt at 8am, after I pulled an all nighter due to insomnia.

Every morning I get up and change the dog pee pads, I mop and really clean up every morning.

But this ONE MORNING. I didn't get up and change the pads in time before they do a surprise inspection.

So now we have a VIOLATION LETTER, saying there is dog pee all over the floor? BS It's in ONE small spot.

So I call the Bit** in the office, and I am TRYING to explain to her why there was a wet spot on the floor.

She says I need to walk the dog. I calmly tell her I've been in the hospital 2 times in the last to months.

I have to use a wheelchair right now due to health problems.

She comes back with "Hire a dog walker" NOW MY MIND IS BLANK BECAUSE I AM SO TAKEN A BACK BY HER LACK OF COMPASSION.

She says she is in a budget meeting and we can talk next week. Ok is about all I could muster to say. BECAUSE THE ANXIETY OF BEING HOMELESS AT ANYTIME IS EATING ME ALIVE WITH ALL THE OTHER BS IN MY LIFE.

We actually used My allowance I get for being in the hospital so many days these last 2 months, I am supposed to use it on a walker or a bathroom chair.

But you know what I spend it on? I had to beg and bargain with the insurance company to let me HIRE A MAID FOR 1 DAY A MONTH to help us clean. Because

[foxgrove]

Of crap!! Dude... I feel for you. These people seem to have lost their ability to feel compassion. I weep for them. I'd like to kick them into the middle of next month, but I do weep for them. They are friggin broken, bro!

 

[looneylane]

That sucks Hollywood I hope and pray it will work out and you get the support you need!

[Hollywood]

My nerves are shot. My wife is crying all the time. I feel like a complete failure.

I no i'm not, I have to keep reminding myself i've been sick a long time. Pretty
 
much going on 30 years of chronic pain and all the other stuff.

 I feel like i'm in a dream or nightmare.

[foxgrove]

  Yeah... I hear you, brother. 

[Hollywood]

Thanks Fox and Looney, yes I kept praying that God will soften their hearts.

And I also pray to just accept God's will. I have to believe that he has what's

best for us, no matter what. Like when Jesus calmed the storm, when the apostles

were freaking out and thought they were going to drown. Can you imagine being in a

boat with Jesus Christ, and still they were freaking out. After they saw what he could do.

[Robby]

  Matthew 6:25-31 

Read online if you want

https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Matthew-6-28/

[Hollywood]

Thanks Robbie

I read it, I need to learn how to get the words of the BIBLE into my heart not just in my head.

[Robby]

This is a small one, but it felt big at the time. I had a light bill come due, $153.35 actually I was late on it. I called on MOnday to try and work out something on it. No dice, they couldn't wait any longer. The cut off guy would get the order first thing the next Monday, I got paid that Friday, they couldn't bend the rules. So I started praying but I still just knew it would get cut off. I didn't let that stop me, I still prayed.

I was talking to an athiest at another time, and he was telling me "faith" did not really exist, it was just an emotion. I said, let's see if I can explain faith to you. You see that chair over there", "yeah", I said go sit down, and you'll understand". So he sat down. I said "did you have any reason to believe the the chair would not hold you up?" "no", "did you have any reason to think it would"? He thought and said "I don't guess so", "that my friend is faith, sitting down in a chair not knowing if it would hold you, but hoping it will".

See, that is the faith that kept me praying. I got home from work, that friday before the cut off date, and checked my mail, I had a letter from a car insurance company I had used, 2 years earlier. But I could tell it wasn't an ad. So I opened it, apparently an audit showed they had overcharged me, and were returning it. 153.37. 2 Corithians 9:8 And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. Deut. 28: 12 The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. Phil 4: 19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Matt 6: 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Once again, God proved his Word to be true. How can I not trust him?

Well, I put my shoes back on, jumped in the car, ran to the bank, and to the power company. I was the last person in before the door was locked, but I got my payment made. I've had people tell me that wasn't God, that was the company screwing up. Well, you can see it like that, or you can know that God in his infinate wisdom knew I would need it right then, and had the company hold it for me until the exact time I needed it. But there were times, he provided, in ways that did not involve a refund, money/supplies/people/whatever just came seemilngly from nowhere, but when you looked, you could see how a series of unreleated events had to happen just right, there was no coincidence.

[Hollywood]

Thanks Robbie, that was an awesome story and I believe that was God. I don't believe in coincidence's.

I will share one with you. We were completely out of food for the week. This was a long time ago when my son was young.

I prayed as I always did. And I happened to have an ad on craigslist about a guitar I was selling. It had been on for so long I had forgot I even had it listed to sell.
Just when I needed it out of the blue a guy called me and was looking for that exact guitar.
And he came over that day and bought it and we had money for food for the week. I'm kind of tearing up just thinking about it.

It's just now "Fear" is pushing out God. Because I have so many problems all at once.

I Pray and Pray, but the only 2 people in my life, my son and wife, don't LOVE me.

It's so hard to live and cope with life when your always fighting. Or in my case swallowing everything bad. Because I don't want to argue. Constant verbal abuse is killing me. But i'm afraid to be on my own in my physical and financial situation.

I've said enough. thanks Robbie more than you know.