Dads

[looneylane]

I want to say up front my dad is no angel but I always thought my dad was the toughest strongest dad on the planet! When he was a teen a guy was picking on his little brother all the time so my dad picked a fight with him and won the guy was a Junior boxing champ. There wasn't a job he wouldn't take on and I probably saw him outwork and outlift employees all the time.

      I have to say the heaviest thing I saw him lift was a bag of groceries......let me explain a family that lived on one of the back roads in the Yukon had crashed into an animal that wandered onto the roadway they had just come back from Whitehorse getting their monthly groceries. A passerby saw the accident and stopped by our house at Crag lake I guess they knew dad used to be the military ambulance guy and knew dad would be the closest guy to help turns out another guy had called the hospital and sent a crew out who had loaded the family into vehicles as we arrived. once everyone was loaded up I thought we would head home, I was 9 or 10 and didn't really understand as my dad started cleaning up all the scattered foodstuff and took them to the families house but the look on my dads face as he crawled into their wrecked vehicle to get everything of theirs out was so stern, silent, pained and hurting. It was going to be a while until that family was alright but my dad was going to make sure that at least some of those needs were met... My dad isn't perfect I still feel the pain from him leaving my mom but I do know I don't understand how big of a heart he has...

[foxgrove]

Very cool,brother! Yeah, you sure inherited a big heart and a desire to help others. I saw the same kind of thing in my dad. Working behind the scenes to make sure that people's needs were met. My dad was a social worker through a time when being a social worker carried a stigma because of the number of first nations kids that were placed in foster homes. I don't know the situations that he went into but I still see the pain in his eyes when he talks about those days. A lot of very broken homes, a very broken system, and a lot... I mean a LOT of hurting kids. He would so often bring home kids that were in just horrid circumstances that simply needed a safe place to be while things got worked through... so many kids in fact that I thought I had this huge extended family of like dozens of siblings. My late sister was one of those kids, as was my late foster brother. Big hearts... best thing you can inherit.

[looneylane]

 Sadly that stigma hasn't left Social work. Decolonizing Social  work is still in it's infancy and sadly the number of indigenous social workers is far to low to meet the needs presented. I was asked to be a part of a team working with local indigenous leaders but it was still mainly taking kids out of family homes but that is a story for another time.

[foxgrove]

Yup... it's going to be a long and hard road. I've seen great strides taken by a few organizations that are working to change the way it works... coming alongside the families in need, essentially putting the entire family into care where the issues that need to be dealt with can be dealt with and the goal not simply being the safety of the child but rather the wholeness of the family. Not many organizations but a few, primarily still seeming to be led by white folk but realistically, that's who has the money we need to get these things going.

Talking of money... I learned this morning that Gaylen Weston, the CEO of Canada's biggest grocery chains, got a bit of a raise last year... went from $5.4 million a year to 8.4 million a year... because of course, he just wasn't being paid enough.  Well, when I heard that I just about cried. Here we are, with next to nothing to work with, scratching our way through life alongside millions of others who can just barely make it even though they work their fingers to the bone, and some jackass who is rich simply because of generational wealth, having money poured over his head because he was so amazing at scalping society by overpricing and gouging those who can least afford it.

Father, have mercy on us. This is one seriously f'd up world!

[looneylane]

Fox I think I told you before about Jimmy Pattisson he gets raked over the coals a tonne for being a rich guy who some say is out of touch with the plight of the poor and to rich for his own good. I do know he rewards hard work extensively and really does pay attention to his employees more than most. He started off as a working poor guy who hitchhiked across Canada and volunteered his trumpet playing to churches and revivals while taking every job that came his way. When I was working disaster relief his stores across British Columbia donated foodstuffs and time to make sure no one went hungry due to natural disasters. He also donates food to groups willing to feed kids in schools. He can be rough and he has a reputation of firing lowest producing salesmen in his car lots from what some salesmen said on his behalf he was more than justified at times. He donated over a million dollars to in Canada missions without skipping a beat and at a conference he was at he was being swarmed by pastors and missionaries and me and my wife just stayed sitting away from the crowd so he pushed his way through to say hi and ask our names he really acted like a friendly neighbor. Could he do more? You bet! I don't know much about Weston other than they are making record profits I will have to look into that it may direct my prayers into a new place

[foxgrove]

I wonder if that's the szme guy as our Jim Pattison group here in Winnipeg. I believe it's radio but I'm not sure what all he has his fingers into. Great reputation here in Winnipeg as well.

The Weston family... well, let's say they seem to be highly profit driven and leave it at that. I think I've dragged their name through the mud enough for one conversation. I know of a number of very wealthy folk here who do an awful lot of good for their communities but it's that whole "we do the same job" with vastly different wage outcomes that really bakes my biscuits. Likely it's just me being sick of struggling to make ends meet.

[looneylane]

Jim Pattison owns major companies all over the world now I can't say what he is like beyond that one personal meeting where he came to us ,I think because we weren't chasing him down like everyone else? All I know first hand was the donations I picked up for weeks during the wildfires out here and the employees that he treated extremely well I can't speak to the other side which may very well be just as true. Maybe there is more to the Weston family but hopefully it is just not getting the attention it needs.

[foxgrove]

Well said!! 

[Hollywood]

A LOVE LETTER TO MY FATHER.
Yes, it's true. No matter how much you try to deny it.
You had a son. That means there was someone out
there, that could use your Love and Guidance.  You
live 20 minutes away minutes away, You couldn't stop
 by to give me a hug. Just to let me know I wasn't a
MISTAKE.
Maybe then I wouldn't have grown up blaming myself.
 I might have become something, instead of a
Alcohol-guzzling Drug Addict.  Maybe I wouldn't have
had that empty hole that I filled with Hate.  In spite
of you choosing to ignore me.  I made it.  With the help
of some really amazing friends and a great Therapist
that had me write a letter to you, with my opposite
writing hand and I didn't have to send it. Which
I never did.  But the most amazing thing happened.
As I sat there at 30 years old crying for the first time
in my life.  They were tears of joy because I realized
it WASN'T MY FAULT. You made the choice to not be
a part of my life.  And I'm sad to say it was YOUR loss.
 In spite of everything I survived and met a woman and
fell in love. Then I had a son of my own. One of the
Happiest days of my life.  On that day MY son was
born, and I made a promise.
To ALWAYS be there for him.  He has none of my
bad habits. He has grown into a Good loving young
 Man that I am proud of.  All I did was keep my
 promise,
ALWAYS  to be there for him throughout his whole life.  In
spite of my own life being derailed. One constant
was that he knew he had a Father that loved him.
 I guess that's what happens
when you put someone before your own needs.
I wanted you to know that I still love you and I
came by the hospital when you were dying of
Cancer.  You were too sick to realize.  But I held
Your hand for the first time, and I prayed with
You. You left to be in Heaven the very next day.
I just want you to know I still pray for you every
day and night. All that hate is gone. I understand
you couldn't deal with being a Father when I was
born. It can be scary. So I have FORGIVEN you
and I actually can say I do love you and look
forward to the day I get to meet you again.
Love Your Son.

[looneylane]

Thank you so much for sharing Stephen!

[foxgrove]

That was wonderful, Hollywood! Thanks for sharing with us what was obviously a very painful subject and a very deep reflection on it. You nailed it... truly his loss. You're awesome! 

[Hollywood]

thanks guys.