Anxiety

[Bob]

Hello,

I am coming up on my 2nd year of retirement and continue to have paralysing Anxiety nearly every day.  For reasons I don't understand I am not able to get myself to work on the mountain of projects needed to be done around the house.  I am even stiemied doing activities I used to love (for me:  playing guitar) . 


The Psych dr. has added to my already bulging list of prescreption meds I take each day. and yet, I continue with the problem. IDK if it is related but I am still fighting with sleep problems (Insomnia). 

Today was another one of those days in which I would be home alone all day . I had to miss church because My wife travled 3 hrs to our daugher's place, 3 hrs away, to spend day with new granddaughter. 

I told myself , once again, that this was actually great!!  I would have time to practice and do the recording I have been wanting to do for... EVER!  However, shortly after she left for the day my clay feet appeared and the result was the same as it always is.  I got nothing done (and am left in a nervous cycle);

do any of you have this prob  how do you deal with it?

Thanks!

[Robby]

Hey Bob, I too suffer from debilitating anxiety. Luckily I'm on a combination of drugs that help, at least I'm not as bad as I used to be. But, I still find myself crawling into bed and covering my head with the covers and hiding out from the world. I go through the mail and throw away the junk and slide the bills into a drawer unopened because I can't stand to look at them, and next thing I know they are past due and someone else has to take care of getting them paid. If someone drives by the house slowly, I'll turn off the tv and run into the bedroom and hide until I know the car isn't stopping. 

It doesn't end there, that's just a peek into how my day goes. I used to be so brave, nothing scared me, but not now. Maybe someone can tell us how to deal with this. I'll take any suggestion anyone has to offer.

[Bob]

Robby,

Thanks so much for such an honest answer.  I am really sorry that you are suffering this - too. I certainly don't wish this (or any of the rest of the Fibro stuff) on ANYONE!  Yet, it does help to know that I am not alone in this struggle.

I, too, am on a combo of meds that do help ... some.  However, there are some days that it is overwhelming.  Heck, who am I kidding - I struggle with it every day.  I don't remember if I said this in my post but, I think the worst part, for me, is the feet of clay I get.  I have quite a few projects that need to be done around the house but I just can't seem to cross the threshold to get started on them.  I Praise God for my wife who is very patient with me about it.

Recently, while seeing my doc for my 3 month check-up I had an eye opening experience.  During my last check up with the doc I shared, with the prep nurse, my difficulties in this area and that I didn't remember having the same problems in the past.  She about knocked me out with her response.  She said:  "yeah... they ( doctors) don't tell you, when you are diagnosed, that you have lost your "old" self.

The more I thought about it the more I realized she was right.  Honestly, sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that I know a Sovereign God who knows, and directs, all that I go through.  I hold on to His promise that :

2 Corinthians 4:15 English Standard Version (ESV)

"15 For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God."

Take Care my friend!

[foxgrove]

Bob...  sorry that it took me so long to respond.  I think I just needed time to face some of my own fears.  Believe it or not, posting replies to people's troubles and meeting new people, even though I've been on this forum for over a decade, is hard for me to do, EVERY time.  I completely freeze up, fingers won't do anything, brain won't function, so I end up doing nothing but getting in a bad state.  This is not the sort of thing that you would think a forum moderator would be susceptible to but here I am.  Totally freaked out.

This is totally out of character for me as I used to be extremely outgoing... a bit shy but I generally overcame any shyness by starting conversations.  Now, it kinda freaks me out.  Like you, without God's strength and His constant presence in my life, I'd be a complete basket case.  Be at peace and know you are not alone in this.  God's not done with us by a long shot!

Fox

[denny]

Dont sound like u need pot robby.

Paul,I had no idea. I'll let up a bit.

Bob,debilitating anxity with depression was my first symptom.

[denny]

Bob, Sorry man. I'm not usually like that.

[Bob]

Couple things:
1) Denny - there is no problem!  (In fact I don't know what you are apologizing for)
2) Fox - I am sorry to bring you down.  this battle is hard enough without someone else grabbing your rope and pulling you down.  However, I really appreciate you taking thhe time to respond. I spoke to the nurse, at my doc's, last time I was there and explained how frustrated I was with the same kind of changes you were speaking of.  I too was very outgoing and now...  She replied - "Yeah,, they don't tell you, when you are diagnosed, that you were going to "lose yourself" .  I understood just what she was saying but was a bit depressed that I did.

[foxgrove]

Bob, never ever a problem... just something that I live with.  In fact, seeing you back here has kinda brought me back up this week.  It's great when folk come back and let us know how life is treating them.  It was really good to face this again and know that it doesn't own me.  I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!!  It's amazing how often I'm in need of that... minute by minute so far...

I sure know what you mean about losing yourself.  It's been a long process for me and I still keep looking back at who I was and comparing today's journey to yesteryear's.  It's not a fair thing to do for anyone but I still find myself doing it.  New journey requires a new perspective, a new goal, and sometimes you get excessively blessed and end up with a support group like you all have been for me.  It's a good life, regardless of the ups and downs and pain and stuff.  Good people, good goals, insurance all paid up. 

[Notsoperkey]

Bob,

I hear what you are saying.  I have been dealing with these issues as well now.  I was diagnosed about 6 years ago now with Fibro.  I am dealing with the loss of myself as well.  I am sorry to hear of your struggles.  Keep your wife in the loop is all I can say.  She is your biggest fan!

Notsoperkey

[denny]

Sorry Bob, I fixed it.
I was just being an ass bite.

[Bob]

Bob, never ever a problem... just something that I live with.  In fact, seeing you back here has kinda brought me back up this week.  It's great when folk come back and let us know how life is treating them.  It was really good to face this again and know that it doesn't own me.  I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!!  It's amazing how often I'm in need of that... minute by minute so far...

I sure know what you mean about losing yourself.  It's been a long process for me and I still keep looking back at who I was and comparing today's journey to yesteryear's.  It's not a fair thing to do for anyone but I still find myself doing it.  New journey requires a new perspective, a new goal, and sometimes you get excessively blessed and end up with a support group like you all have been for me.  It's a good life, regardless of the ups and downs and pain and stuff.  Good people, good goals, insurance all paid up. 

Fox,

I'm not sure that I am replying correctly but, that has been my goal.  I just want to tell you what an encouragement it has been to read your posts.  Your dependance on the Lord is the goal that I am seeking as well. Unfortunately, I often forget that an have to be reminded.  today You reminded me.  Thx

[foxgrove]

Bob...   Thanks, brother.  Needed that today.

[foxgrove]

...but back to your problem of feet of clay...  Boy can i relate.  So darned anxious that I'm going to do something wrong that I never get started and do it wrong or right.  I have so many projects that I started when I was well... or well enough to start at the least, and they have never been finished. 

It's a huge letdown to see them like that... or the shelves that my sweetie so desperately needs in order to get our house squared away again.  We've grown into our house a fair bit... more stuff than most minor hoarders... but it can't be managed by any human person unless you tie up all the other occupants of the house for the duration.  Since I'm no help, that lays it all on Jo's very very overworked shoulders.

So, yeah, I totally get it!    No worries, brother.  You're among friends.